You are either in it or your not

If you can't see yourself as part of the "problem", you won't be looking for a solution.

Normally something you would meet in a management seminar or hear at some kind of pep- motivation talk.

But it really applies to self-defense too. In any confrontation you will be a part of it, and that part of the confrontation that IS at you, will have you as the focus point. So take the responsibility of being there and look for the solution in that situation.


1) Get in there
One of the first steps is to put yourself in there, not the physical violence, but how you define it. Who hasn't be on the mat saying "The problem is that his arm is not correct" or "I think that is stupid". Both of them distancing yourself from the actual situation and from your partner. It can easily become a"blaming game" - your doing this - that - not doing what sensei told - Get in there and be a part of it, find out why and how to solve it.

2) Take responsibility
Next - a natural extension of the first step - drop putting responsibility on others. Your the one training - your the one that is learning - your the one that is teaching. Take on the responsibility of the situation your in. The question that can motivate you hear is "what can I do to change this". Emphasis "I". There is not doubt that other people and situations influence you and your possibilities.   But  by focusing on these, you missing focusing your energy on what you can to; "what can I do to change this"!

3) Focus on the goal
In a self defense situation  or just training up to it, it is very common to react on "what you don't want"; don't want to get hit, or get thrown,  feel the sweat of the other guy or bruise our ego. Our mental powers don't convert to the correct inspiration or movement by themselves to get us over to what we want. Our powers focus on what we focus on. So shift the focus to the goal - which should be easy in a self defense training since the goal is tangible - getting out of that hold, moving around the threat, throwing that stun.....

4) Use the greater picture
Having a lot of small goals - techniques - motivation quotes, will only stress you to much if they are not aligned to a greater goal or bitter picture. Use the greater picture to steer your "long run" planning - ensuring that the underlying goals support it. Using different scenario training to support which areas you want to practice.

5) Remember that your not alone
Nobody is an island. Your experience, daily training partner, family, friends, the coffee guy on the corner. They all influence you and are a part of who you are. You wouldn't be you without them - so respect them. You don't have to agree with everybody - everybody shapes you. It's how you handle them that defines you. Remember that integrity leads to happiness.

Building up guide lines like these help the brain to handled different situations, even those that it has never tried before, since the mental patterns are being used and tried. And in situations were you do get side tracked, it's easier to get back on track, since you know what the main track is, and each time you do get side tracked, you learn how, and train how to get back on track.

So get in there and be a part of your "problem" so you can find the solution!